WANNA FIND OUT HOW TO TURN YOURSELF INTO A BOOFING MACHINE? YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!
Hello everyone, professional boofer and pyro enthusiast Überfap here, and today, we are going to learn all about the many different Routes of Administration, or RoA, and how to do each one properly, so you don’t end up pushing the syringe too far up your asshole.
(IM and IV will not be dealt with, at least not by me. Feel free to let me know if you want to write those parts).
So, without further ado…
ORAL:
The classic, the easy, the foolproof and most common method of ingesting drugs. Simply put the pill or powder inside your mouth and wash it down with the liquid of your choice (water, of course, what else?).
- Effects can take a moderate to long time to come up (depending on your metabolism). Effects also last longer for each phase (come up, peak, come down for the most part).
- Nausea can be present with some substances (mostly psychedelics).
- List item bio-availability is high for almost all drugs (not Ketamine though).
Watch out for interactions between the substance and the drink (don’t use alcohol to swallow benzodiazepines please, grapefruit juice can intensify/lengthen some substances’ effects, orange juice somewhat blocks amphetamines…).
You can also dissolve your pill, crystal or rock in whatever drink of your choosing.
Some substances will have a very strong, “chemical” smell and/or taste so try not to use your drink/drug mix as mouthwash before you swallow (or do… kinky wink wink). Some substances are pretty caustic and can hurt fragile membranes such as the inside of the mouth. But there is a simple way to almost entirely evade both of these issues: the Toss & Wash method (this guide is about Kratom but can be applied to anything, including pills AND crystals).
The taste or smell of a substance might give you nausea on the comeup. Generally speaking, after 15 minutes, you’re clear and can vomit without altering your trip, and you’ll probably end up feeling much better after. One way to deal with nausea is to not eat anything for a while before, another one is to eat a full healthy meal right before. Fresh ginger also helps.
INTRANASAL:
The other classic, a little harder to do than oral consumption but still pretty easy, just a mere 3 (three!) steps:
- Make sure your substance has a good intranasal bio-availability (for example, benzodiazepines are inactive nasally, so no point in snorting those).
- Chop up your powder the finest you can (use a razor blade + the hotplate method). The finer, the better absorbed the substance will be and the less damage done to your nose.
For this next step, you will need a rigid object in the shape of a hollow cylinder. It might be tempting to use rolled up money banknotes (because it looks cool, let’s not lie to ourselves here), but that would be a terrible idea since banknotes are extremely dirty and you’re risking catching an infection, or worse. A metal or glass straw is your best bet, assuming you clean and dry it thorougly before and after each session or if someone just used it before you. Disposable plastic and paper straws are not ideal but can work in a pinch. A hollowed out Bic pen also can be used. In case of an extreme lack of hollow cylinder shaped items, you can just use your nose as the tube.
- Put the tube 2cm inside your nostril, tiled slightly forward. Put the other end on the edge of the line, block your other nostril with a finger and GENTLY inhale while moving the tube forward very SLOWLY (can go fast if you’re experienced). You shouldn’t feel anything instantaneously; if the powder got into your throat, you inhaled too hard or too fast, and if powder comes out of your nose when you take the tube out, you didn’t inhale hard enough or tilt the tube enough.
That’s it?. No, really, that’s it. That’s all it takes. It might take you a few attempts to master the art of snorting but it’s like biking, in that once you get it right it’s for life, and it’s not like biking in that I still don’t know how to fucking bike. Try not to sneeze and not to sniff too hard (or at all) for the next 10-15 minutes, even if your nose gets runny, which is highly likely. After 15-20 minutes, you can blow your nose if you want to.
Why snort a drug instead of ingesting it?
- Snorting will reduce the come up duration by quite a margin, you’ll generally feel a drug 5-10 minutes after snorting it. The peak will also generally be more intense than with oral consumption.
- The total duration of the experience will almost always be shortened, which can be nice when taking substance that last a very long time.
- We should stop pretending it doesn’t look cool as fuck
A word of warning & how to aftercare:
Some drugs are caustic, which means they can damage your mucous membranes with long and/or repeated exposure. Coke, while not caustic by itself, causes vasoconstriction of the veins inside the nose and that can build up to a sizable amount of damage over time (don’t Google “perforated septum”). You’ll typically be able to estimate how caustic a drug is by the pain you’ll feel when snorting. And it can be very painful. It’s also not uncommon to get nosebleeds after snorting for any period of time. It is most likely benign and not a reason for worry.
My own personal advice? Don’t ever snort anything that has a Cl in its formula. That shit will fuck you up big time.
To try and mitigate any and all damages to your nose, try clearing out your sinuses regularly by snorting saline water or using a spray, though the best way to make sure your sniffer keeps working is using a neti pot:
(It seems some neti pots could even be used as dildos… humanity’s gift to itself. Don’t forget to clean it!)
RECTAL:
And now for the part that you’ve all been waiting for (me included!): the boof, the bootysnort, the rectal administration.
I want to preface this with something I think is important to remind y’all: putting drugs in your ass is not gay, won’t make you gay and you should get over your stigma (you’re also making being gay out as a bad thing or a derogatory term, which it obviously isn’t). No one with think less of you or doubt your masculinity even if you boof your drugs.
So, kids, how does one boof?
You’re going to need a few things to make the experience as as smooth as possible:
- An oral syringe (THE ONE WITH NO NEEDLE), preferably a 10mL one, but any will do (This is what you will be putting in your reverse-mouth so choose accordingly).
- Some clean water, distilled is preferable but boiled (THEN COOLED!!) tap water works fine.
(Some people use lube but I never found the need to use any.)
Okay, now that you have everything ready, take a hollow container, (a clean bottle cap is more than enough), make sure to REALLY CLEAN the container. Next, measure out 1 to 1.5mL of your liquid and squirt it slowly into the container. Next, add your drug of choice and mix thoroughly until you can’t see any bits and pieces left. The water may get colored and a little muddy but it should have no crumbs.
Now for the fun part, but before we proceed, a disclaimer:
This is my own favorite method for boofing and the one I have found to be most consistent and efficient. Feel free to experiment with different positions if you feel like it.
That being said…
Full the syringe with the mixture, lay down on your back, locate your bootyhole, and just barely insert the syringe, not more than 1-2cm, then slowly press down on the plunger until you can’t anymore.
If you feel a cold sensation at the very entrance of your rectum (and possibly a burning sensation from certain drugs), you’ve done it! Now zip up and go throw the syringe in the trash.
You don’t need to clench your cheeks or stay in a certain position. Absorption should be completed in at most 30 minutes, but you’ll feel the effects much sooner than that, almost instantly after pushing the plunger all the way down.
You might feel the need to poop. IGNORE IT.
